What Does “Healthy” Mean to You? It’s Time to Redefine This Complex Word
By: Robin Klein
As a Registered Dietitian and Certified Health and Wellness Coach, the word “healthy” gets thrown around quite a bit in my company. It’s true, “diet” and “health” are part of my title, and there are expectations and judgments that go along with it – an experience that so many dietitians share. At a gathering recently, I had just taken a bite out of the most delicious brownie when someone I’ve only met a handful of times reminded me that I’m a dietitian and shouldn’t be eating dessert, as she looked at me with the most horrified expression. While I took that as an opportunity to offer a food-neutral and “no guilt or shame in eating any and all types of foods” approach, it demonstrates how insidious and pervasive diet culture is, and the negative impact it has on so many of us. Chances are, she wasn’t the only one thinking that, she just happened to be the one that decided to comment. In a time when foods are constantly labeled good or bad, right or wrong, healthy or not, and there’s always a new plan/diet/protocol/detox or “way of eating” that promises you everything you want to hear, it can be difficult to know how to be “healthy.” What does that mean anyway?
Before I list a few ways to help you find the “healthy” for you, I think it is important to note why the comment made to me at the gathering was problematic. The problem was NOT the fact that I was eating dessert, rather:
a) Our society’s idea of what is “healthy” vs. “unhealthy” has gotten completely unrealistic and, let’s face it…unhealthy.
b) People (family, friends, acquaintances, strangers) think it’s OK to comment on what other people are eating and drinking, which often leads to feelings of guilt or shame, a negative relationship with food and, more importantly, our bodies.
c) We live in a society that is OBSESSED with labeling specific foods/nutrients as healthy vs. not, without actually looking at the big picture of each individual’s lifestyle, needs, food preference, mental and emotional health/well-being, medical history, etc.
So, how can we find what “healthy” means for our own bodies?
- First, think about what “healthy” means to you. Contrary to what you hear so often, there’s no right or wrong answer here. When do you feel your best both physically and emotionally? Are you practicing self-care? Are you spending time with friends and family? Are you being kind to yourself? Are you listening to what your body needs and how your body feels? Are you feeling engaged and energized in your life and in your relationships? Are you able to eat all types of foods without feelings of guilt? Are you sleeping instead of exercising when your body is telling you it needs rest? Or, are you restricting yourself to point of obsessiveness? Isolating yourself from social gatherings if you don’t think you can eat or drink anything at that event? Are you letting news, social media influencers, family, friends, or others dictate what is best for your body? Take a moment to consider this. As you may have noticed, for every article stating why you should eat “x” food, there’s an article stating exactly why you shouldn’t. Same with diets and “plans.” For every article stating why eating “x” way is best, there’s another article stating that “y” is better. Let’s be honest: it’s REALLY confusing – even to those of us with degrees in nutrition! So, what is one to do? Learn to honor your own inner dietitian and your emotional health and well-being. Whether you have a degree in nutrition and dietetics or not, we all are the experts of our own bodies. We know our food likes and our preferences. We know if something doesn’t agree with us physically or even emotionally. We know if we are truly enjoying what we are eating or if we are not. While it can be helpful to enlist the help of an expert for some additional support when needed, there’s no specific food, lifestyle, or plan that is the “healthiest” for everyone. It just doesn’t exist. Be wary of overgeneralized statements and claims. You are the expert of your body.
- Remember to consider your mental health and emotional well-being. When people think of “healthy,” they often think of a certain weight or pant size, particular foods to eat or avoid as well as “x” amount of exercise, but many forget about emotional health and well-being. This is a huge part of the equation! If you’re avoiding an entire food group because you think it’s “unhealthy” while filling up on foods and beverages you really don’t enjoy, but consider “healthy,” it won’t be sustainable for long, and you won’t be or feel “healthy” as a result. You will feel tired, irritable, frustrated, angry, and jealous that others are eating the foods you’re obsessing over now that you’ve completely cut them out of your lifestyle. Diets lead us down the path of labeling ourselves as the problem for “not being able to stick to the plan.” It’s critical to remember that having an unrealistic, rigid, and unsupportive plan is the problem. While there are some guidelines that have been linked to better health and well-being, it’s not an exact science, and what that looks like for you might be completely different than what it looks like for someone else. If you neglect to consider your mental and emotional well-being, it will take a toll on you. A food-neutral approach can be life-changing, even if it takes a while to get there. Prioritize your mental health and well-being. It is often overlooked, but so incredibly important.
- Get to know yourself better. Hush the noise as listed in #1. If you want to know how your body responds to foods and/or a particular way of eating, take inventory so you can gather data about yourself. This is not a time to be judgmental or to tell yourself you’re a bad person for starting your day with a certain food or beverage over another. This is a place in which you can become the best student of yourself – the most avid learner and masterful researcher that is within you. While I no longer recommend that people carefully monitor their calories, fat, protein, etc., I do think it can be helpful to take note of how you’re feeling after eating certain foods if you are wanting to make changes to obtain a higher level of health and wellness. Journaling can feel a bit scary at first if you’re used to journaling as a means of tracking calories, points, or macros. What I’m speaking of is different – it is truly a way for you to get a deeper understanding of how you feel when you eat certain foods from every angle. You may find this is the easiest way to feel liberated from all the harsh food rules you created for yourself when you find that you LOVE starting your day in a certain way, or that a particular food really doesn’t agree with you (physically or emotionally). Whether these are foods that you currently or previously labeled as “off limits,” allow yourself to remove the rigidity and feel the liberation.
- Unfollow social media accounts that aren’t feeling supportive of your needs. I’ve had many clients tell me they feel bad about themselves after seeing certain posts online. If you find yourself feeling a lot of “shoulds” (meaning, I should be eating that, I should avoid that, I shouldn’t drink this, I should drink that,” etc.) as a result of seeing social media posts, then unfollow and move forward. You have the power to create the social media platform that’s the most supportive of you. Use it to your advantage, not to your detriment. Sometimes, it’s even helpful to take a break from social media entirely and focus on yourself without distractions and noise.
- Shift your self-talk to become more positive. Reframing your thinking can be incredibly empowering and motivating. Instead of saying “I am being bad and eating “x” food,” consider saying “I am really enjoying this ___ right now. I enjoy incorporating all types of foods into my lifestyle.” Or instead of “I ate the whole bag of chips so I might as well finish the ice cream,” change it to “what is going on in my body right now and what am I feeling? I know an all-or-nothing mentality isn’t supportive, so what is the most supportive of me in this moment?”
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to being “healthy” and it’s important to find the balance in your life that feels best to you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Write your own rules and feel the liberation.
Robin is a Registered Dietitian, Board Certified Specialist in Pediatric Nutrition, and Certified Health and Wellness Coach. She is currently working as a Supermarket RD in addition to seeing private clients in Philadelphia. It is Robin’s passion to help individuals transform their relationship with food and their bodies. You can follow her brand new accounts on social media @RobinKleinRD (instagram and twitter) or email robinkleinRD@gmail.com
